Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
wow bdsm is so cute
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
