So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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