Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
