I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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