Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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