so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
