I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
