I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked him into tasing himself.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize