Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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