p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
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Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
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not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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