i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
