There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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