Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
