I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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