I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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