I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
