just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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