Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
