oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
