it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
