Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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