You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
