names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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