remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
