dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
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i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
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He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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