hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
