honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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