i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I think i got beer on your cat.
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