We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize