So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
