i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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