and i looked up. we had an audience...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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