you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
