You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
