gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
