Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
