I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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