shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It's shark week go big or go home
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
