How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
