Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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