her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
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If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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