i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
