her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize