What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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