R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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