Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
