You can't special order awesome
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
