There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize