will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
