Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
My liver just broke up with me...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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