watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
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I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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