this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
the liver wants what the liver wants
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
