Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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