It's Friday. Sex?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
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Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
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From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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