Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
