you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
