@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you didnt know i had herpes?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
